2 Samuel 9:1-8 (NIV), David asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” Now there was a servant of Saul’s household named Ziba. They summoned him to appear before David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” “At your service,” he replied. The king asked, “Is there no one still alive from the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?” Ziba answered the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is lame in both feet.” “Where is he?” the king asked. Ziba answered, “He is at the house of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar.” So King David had him brought from Lo Debar, from the house of Makir son of Ammiel. When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. David said, “Mephibosheth!” “At your service,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.” Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?”

Whatever injured you that made you get a “dead dog” syndrome: GOD IS HEALING!

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OUR TEXT:  John 13:34,35 (ESV)  “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this ALL people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.”

Dr. Henry Cloud said, “Relationship or bonding is at the foundation of God’s nature.  Since we are created in His likeness, relationship is our most fundamental need, the very foundation of who we are. Without relationship, without attachment to God and others, we can’t be ourselves.”

It is your emotional connection and bonding with another person that creates and gives you the closeness and security needed:

  • Love drives us to bond emotionally and spiritually with a precious few others who offer us safe haven from the storms of life.
  • Relationships define the quality of our lives.
  • God started all of this, He designed all people to be in relationships!
  • It is not good for man to be alone (isolated, separated).
  • We need emotional and spiritual attachments with a few irreplaceable others to be physically and mentally healthy: TO SURVIVE!
  • This will begin to explain why we attract what we attract into our lives.

An attachment with someone answers the basic Questions:

  • Are you there for me?
  • Can I count on you?
  • Do you really care about me?
  • Am I worthy of your love and protection?
  • What do I have to do to get your attention, your affection, your heart?

4 Attachment Styles:

This refers to the particular way you relate to other people. The style of attachment is formed at the very beginning of life, and once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children.

    • SECURE :
  • I feel loved and loving
  • My family feels like a safe place to me
  • I trust the people who are close to me
  • I am usually comfortable when alone
  • I am usually comfortable with others
  • It feels natural for me to say; “I love you”
    • PREOCCUPIED (Ambivalent):
  • I worry a lot about what others think about me
  • I expect to be rejected or abandoned by the people I love
  • I give a lot to others but often think that people don’t give back much to me
  • I seem to want more closeness than people are willing to give me
  • Saying “I love you” makes me very vulnerable
    • DISMISSIVE (Avoidant):
  • I value independence a lot, even in close relationships
  • I don’t much want people to depend on me, and I don’t want to depend on others
  • I get uncomfortable around people who are very emotional or needy
  • People should be able to stand on their own 2 feet
  • Saying; “I love you” often feels like a chore or an obligation to me
    • FEARFUL (Disorganized):
  • I don’t believe I’m worth loving
  • I don’t trust others very much
  • I want to be deeply loved but doubt it will ever happen
  • Sometimes I feel I can’t count on anybody, including myself
  • I’m just too afraid of rejection to risk saying; “I love you”

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Why are most of these attachments broken?
  • How does an attachment injury occur?
  • Are you ready to look how we get soul wound in life, and how we start to heal?
  • Have you been hurt by another person? Made fun of, teased incessantly, laugh at, ridiculed, lied about, pushed, put down, used, abused…

We all have…

If you were hurt by someone like a parent, grandparent, spouse, or someone you were “attached” to who was supposed to be there for you, it’s different… The pain goes much deeper! A lot more is at stake in these relationships.  

Paula White Ministries

Author Paula White Ministries

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